Saturday 11 May 2013

          There had been an emptiness haunting me for as long as I can remember. In the midst of traumatic experiences...the feeling of emptiness imploded into a reckless state, into a disoriented search for love, for wholeness.
          After I accepted Christ I anticipated a massive and immediate change in my heart and mind. WIthout truly surrendering my all, I expected to experience the fullness of Christ.
          Oh how I longed to be healed, to be free from the pain of so many years distanced from my Savior. Now that I accepted His forgiveness and asked Him into my heart and life, I excitedly anticipated great change, great change with no work or surrender, with no willingness to move forward, but an unrealistic expectation of Him taking over...
         But God! I feel like that is the phrase that has saved me...not only from an eternity away from Him, but a life on earth full of anguish and addiction....a life completely full of emptiness. One of the most challenging parts of this phrase...But God...is allowing Him to work, is being willing to move forward...surrendering.
          Mercy Ministries is the vessel in which God opened my eyes to the reality of freedom in Him. To the reality that walking through the circumstances, the anguish, the pain, is the way to healing...when I do it with Him! I have had a past full of emotional hurt, some of it brought on by others, some that I created in my own fleshly, selfish nature...BUT GOD!  In Christ alone is healing, wholeness, the possibility of being filled! He will not force one into a life with Him, for He is patient, and loving...but HE longs for you, He longed for me! 
          IN CHRIST ALONE I am free from a past of sin and shame...I was once broken and lost, BUT GOD!

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